Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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