no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
