1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
