He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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