I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
