can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
