He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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