too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you win again, gameday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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