It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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