Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
