So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
