Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
