I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
