i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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