I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
