I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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