I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
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I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
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He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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