She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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