just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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