We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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