I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
