I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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