I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
