So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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