If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I smell like Dick and happiness
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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