There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
this is an emotional support booty call
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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