I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize