You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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