I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
