i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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