im six kinds of drunk right now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
