Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
