I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
