just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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