I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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