I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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