Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you guys were way drunker than both of me
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
