Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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