just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
