Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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