WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
