Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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