How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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