we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
