I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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