i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
