I'm so fucking centered right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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