So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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