I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
