she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Text me some of your sweat
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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