dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
