Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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