He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
