I'm lost and stupid without you.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
