my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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