I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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