How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
