He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I believe in your delicious
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
