you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
