I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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